US politics

Sep. 20th, 2017 09:33 am
cesy: "Cesy" - An old-fashioned quill and ink (Default)
[personal profile] cesy
Hope not Hate is coming to the US, to counter the rise of international hate groups. American friends, you can sign up here.

Nursing Vs. Counseling

Sep. 19th, 2017 11:33 pm
iosonochesono: Rainbow Dash from My Little Pony being sad. (MLP: Dash Sad)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
I think instead I'd rather do nursing and social work, with some counseling training.

I've been reading up on it and apparently a lot of rehabilitation therapies are not seen as particularly scientifically sound.

I'm wondering why, for instance, the facilities in these areas (no specific one) don't focus on anti-opiods such as naltrene over the Twelve-Step program, which have scientifically sound evidence that they are effective against addiction. Apparently the USA is far far behind other developed countries in their approach to addiction.




In learning about all of this, I'm going to try taking Contrave this year and see if it helps me stop binge-eating. Treat my problem like an illness and try to approach it as such.

Lol

Sep. 19th, 2017 07:04 pm
iosonochesono: (Default)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
Isha said Makayla had walked the into Monique snoring because she was so loud.

Okay, THAT doesn't sound like Monique. That might have been me. I know people have told me I snore pretty loudly. (I don't get HOW, since I don't have tonsils or adenoids. Also, I record myself sleeping sometimes - to try to catch me snoring and how bad, since people have woken me up less than an hour after me falling asleep to tell me I was being loud - and it never seems to catch snoring. It's like my brain doesn't do those bad habits when I'm watching myself.)

There's no way that happened recently though cuz we don't go in that room anymore. And well, I don't think I've slept during a shift in weeks. I kept getting more and more anxious about Monique's pattern. It's possible I dozed off once or twice during the time we were in that room.

However: Regardless, I'm now trying to research what legitimate ways there are to stop snoring.

Current Wallpaper

Sep. 19th, 2017 02:12 pm
crown_of_antlers: (Harmony - Palomino Horse)
[personal profile] crown_of_antlers
I'm using this screenshot as my current desktop wallpaper; Glorawenn (gold maiden) on her gold-pinto Steed of the Yield.



When she finally gets her warsteed I plan to make it look like this. The horse and rider look so good together.

UGH

Sep. 19th, 2017 04:56 am
iosonochesono: (Default)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
Due to circumstances at work tonight I was convinced to go in and now my co-worker is sleeping again.

I resent letting my guilt and concern manipulate me that way.
iosonochesono: (HTTYD: Troubled)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
Ana annoys me with how much she believes in conspiracy theories and how right-wing she is, but sometimes she manages to ask things that are eerily on-point with where my emotions are at.

... Granted, because she believes PCOS is a conspiracy to punish women by making them infertile and because she knows I'm in my thirties. But eerily on point with where a lot of my thoughts have been since that woman was telling me how much her life changed after she got pregnant and just generally feeling incredibly stuck and without choices in life.

Conversations I feel like I can't have with anyone. Like, if I have those conversations with anyone, they'll totally freak out. Either because my friends who are women will think I'm thinking seriously about trying, or the men in my life will be worried I'm going to ask them to be a sperm donor.*

Ana doesn't even know about the sexual dysfunction, I don't think. So the question from her is a lot more eery. Like if Alicia had asked, it's like, she knows I have this barrier in my life that sort of makes my life complicated in the family planning/starting aspect.

*I guess I'd be worried about that too. I guess it's not such a far-flung theory that if I ever went that route I'd want it to be someone I knew. But I usually find it's easier to talk to men about S.D. stuff.

OH MY GOD

Sep. 18th, 2017 11:40 pm
iosonochesono: (Default)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
Monique literally lost her shit when she found out I wasn't coming in tonight. I'd gotten permission from Isha around 6pm.

The real reason is that she's pissed off she won't get to sit there turning off her alarm and going back to sleep all night without getting up until 6:40am.

This was it. I decided even if it means sleeping privileges are revoked, I'm going to talk to Isha about how Monique oversleeps during the shift. I can't stand that she has the gall to do 1-2 checks the entire night last night and kept turning off her alarm and now she wants to whine that I'm not coming in again so she can do the same bullshit tonight.

I even pretended to fall asleep last night to see if she would do the checks? And she didn't. I literally saw her still turning off her alarm and going back to sleep. I still had to get up and do the checks because she wouldn't.

That's the only reason why I would want to cut my hours. It's not like I thought it'd be super awesome to make less money. It's because it's causing to much sleep deprivation and resentment of my co-worker.

Work:

Sep. 18th, 2017 06:26 pm
iosonochesono: (Default)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
I asked for tonight off, too.

I've decided when we don't need two staff I'll take 1-3 days off per week to ensure that when I am there, I am able to remain awake.

Like I don't want to rat out Monique because it would cause interpersonal conflict at work (and potentially make them more strictly enforce it being an 'AWAKE' shift whereas they have to date been currently lenient and let us work it among ourselves.) It's a lot easier to offer to divide shifts (like do three days/two days and then switch the next week) or come in less personally.

But it's not fair to basically see someone sleeping next to you all night and know that if you fall asleep that person isn't going to have the checks covered. If I need to be asleep, I won't come in, because I can't trust her to stay awake. I don't want to be liable for dozing off on someone who needs 10-30 minute checks.

Verge

Sep. 18th, 2017 08:19 am
iosonochesono: (Default)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
I am on the verge of having a frank discussion with Monique about how much she sleeps at work.

Tonight she kept turning her alarm off and continuing to sleep all night. She basically got seven hours of sleep. This has not been an unusual turn of events.

We both work 80+ hours/week, we both have dysfunctional home situations, it's not fair for one person to get all the sleep.

Of course, the other thing I've considered is simply taking more time off the night job whenever there are three clients or less. That way, if something happens, at least I'm not liable, whereas if she tells me she's doing checks and then she is simply sleeping the whole night, I am equally liable.

Progress

Sep. 18th, 2017 03:02 am
iosonochesono: (Hebrew: Elephants Don't Dance Ballet)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
My UCSD courses don't start until next week, so right now I'm just working on the TEFL course. I couldn't do it when my co-worker was watching iZombie, but she's currently asleep.

I also filled out a new C1 for my U.K. Passport. I just need to finish putting in my mother's address and her passport information, then ask her to get information that may be relevant for them (her marriage certificate to my father changing her surname, then the divorce paperwork, then the marriage certificate where she took her current husband's surname. It might be none of that is relevant because she probably has to put that information in when renewing her passport... But still.

I deleted POF/Tinder. I've come to the conclusion that men are depressing. Hundreds and hundreds of men 'like' me, in the hopes that they'll hook up, just as they are 'liking' every damn woman on those sites. I'm just going to try to get back to doing classes, going to the gym, etc. I'm not necessarily holding out for a serious relationship only - but I don't believe I'm likely to respect guys when I see evidence of the grazing approach. Like they couldn't care less about compatibility. Forever alone? Whatever. It's better than being depressed by a constant barrage of dudes hoping for a one-night stand.

Thoughts

Sep. 18th, 2017 12:14 am
iosonochesono: (Corpse Bride: Emily Proper)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
With regard to Jordan (as much as I'm trying to just completely mind-wipe myself about his existence), I think what happened with regard to him lying about "not meeting the language qualifications for CSU Fullerton/CSU LB" is that I don't think he applied to them. I think he probably tried to apply to a few UCs - the ones that were prestigious enough to fill the needs of his ego.

But the University of California requires two years of a foreign language. Hence he didn't get in. And then was embarrassed that he didn't apply. Or maybe he had lied to his parents and had told him he didn't get into any of those schools, and then kept that lie for everyone, not realizing what a bad lie that was, because the CSUs are far more numerous and everyone knows the key difference in transferring to a UC or a CSU is whether or not it requires a foreign language.

Anyway, he got into York in England, and that school is highly regarded, so it's not like his GPA wasn't high enough, it would be, as he said, just the language requirements.

(I've also considered that he may have intentionally did what he did to give himself an excuse to go back to Europe to complete his education, as European schools are considered more prestigious. And for all I know, he had a reason to want to go back to England. Be it homesickness, friends, a girl, whatever. But his ego seems enough on its own.)




I want to work on my TEFL course but I can't do it without headphones.

I was also looking at applying to UK Starbucks and working on BACP coursework.

It might make more sense to make an extended visit to my aunt and her husband's place, though, and figure my working situation out. I'd like to try to work in Italy, France, Spain, Germany, and Portugal. But I was thinking I'd like to stop by the UK a while first since technically I'm a citizen. Plus I could then work on counseling and BACP stuff while there. (I'd like to do coursework in those countries too? But only to learn the language.)

It'll probably be a lot easier to find work if already at least on the right continent.

A Stag Totem

Sep. 17th, 2017 03:21 pm
crown_of_antlers: A deer from LOTRO (LOTRO Deer)
[personal profile] crown_of_antlers
Glorawenn added a Stag Totem to her front yard. Her white stag pet approves.

Dear Trick or Treat Artist/Writer

Sep. 17th, 2017 08:30 am
everysecondtuesday: glasses and milk tea in the morning (Default)
[personal profile] everysecondtuesday
If you check out my last Trick or Treat (or even Yuletide) letter, you'll probably notice that I've copied a lot over, including some of the structure.

General stuff first!

I love all of the fandoms and characters I'm requesting, so if one section seems longer or shorter than another, it's due to how much I had to say, not how much I love the request. (And also maybe an indicator of where I was when I started running out of energy and ideas and what has gotten at least partial copy-paste treatment. Sorry, RimWorld.) They are all fandoms of my heart, and I'm excited at the possibility of receiving any of them.

Also, this letter is super long, so again, please don't feel obligated to read it all (or at all!). If you already have an idea of what you want to do from just the AO3 requests, go for it! This is all to (I hope) make it easier on you, and I am a big believer in optional details being optional. There being fic or art for my fandoms will make me happy. Everything else is icing on delicious, delicious cake.

This year I'm requesting art or fic in seven fandoms: Dragon Age (Varric), Dwarf Fortress (Cat, Dwarf, Forgotten Beast, Kobold, Necromancer, Overseer), Fallout 4 (Deacon), Naruto (Guy/Gai, Kakashi), RimWorld, The Scumthorpe Files (any), and Rubyquest (Red, Ruby). Each fandom section will include subsections as follows: short summary/promotion and links (for smaller fandoms), general fandom talk, characters-specific prompts (where applicable), trick prompts, treat prompts, art prompts. Feel free to skip straight to what you feel is most relevant. :D

Fair warning: this letter will contain spoilers, so if you have it on your "to watch/to read/to play" list and want to go into it with fresh eyes, you'll want to skip that section.

A note: I've received fic and art in the past for several of my requested fandoms, which I loved! I just want more. If you matched me on one of those, I am sure I will love whatever you make me, whether it's along the lines of the gifts I've already gotten or something entirely new.

For ease of stalking: tuesday on AO3, everysecondtuesday on tumblr

General Likes )
Triggers and General DNWs )



Dragon Age )
Dwarf Fortress (Cat, Dwarf, Forgotten Beast, Kobold, Necromancer, Overseer) )
Fallout 4 (Deacon) )
Naruto (Guy/Gai, Kakashi) )
Rimworld )
The Scumthorpe Files (any) )
Rubyquest (Red, Ruby) )




If you've made it this far, I'd like to thank you for participating in Trick or Treat. This is a delightful exchange, and I am excited for and about it.

My number one hope for my gift fic or art is that you have a good time with it, so let me emphasize again that I'm just happy that there will be another fanwork for one of these fandoms. This monster of a letter was mostly an excuse to enthuse about these fandoms, and I truly hope it doesn't put you off or make you worry about whether you can make any of the prompts work. Whatever you end up writing or drawing, I'm hoping it's something you enjoy about the fandom and have fun creating.

Have a happy Trick or Treat!

Long day!

Sep. 17th, 2017 02:46 am
azurelunatic: Polyamory infinite hearts, in a polymer-like grid (polymer)
[personal profile] azurelunatic
Breakfast with partner and metamour Leopard Girl.

Seanan McGuire event in Silverdale. We brought tribute, and were briefly Seanan's favorite. (Diet Dr Pepper and candy corn. Seanan is a being of predictable tastes.)

Mini muffin tin quest!

Partner made a note they should chat with our mutual friend in London about stuff. Hooray, viable communities.

Dinner for the extended polycule, with many dishes thanks to Trader Joe's. (Rice, orange chicken with extra zesty sauce but no carrots since we ran out, BBQ pork buns, pot stickers, spring rolls, and green beans. The rice and green beans weren't pre-packaged, and I do a little customization to the chicken by adding orange peel and scallions. The gyoza and bao steam over the rice, and the spring rolls could bake with the chicken. The green beans start frozen and get gently fried with seasonings. Usually it's butter and Montreal steak seasoning, but Stray Puppy Girl is very lactose intolerant, and Leopard Girl dislikes red pepper. So I went for sesame oil, garlic, onion, pepper, salt, ginger, a packet of soy sauce that needed using, and the excess teriyaki sauce from the other night. It turned out well. To my immense gratification, my partner really likes all the iterations of the green beans that I have made so far. Generally they disappear immediately.)

Club night. Without going into excessive detail, one of the groups near the people I was with were having a hilarious time, and kept setting each other off giggling. That prompted our group to giggle. The glee was infectious.

Everyone is spending the night. We hauled the camping pads out of the alleged guest room (it is currently not in a state for guests as my textiles have exploded all over it) and they're set up next to the futon in case it turns from cozy to crowded in the middle of the night. Things are well set up for breakfast, and there should be cheesecake at some point (thus the mini muffin tins).

Thoughts

Sep. 17th, 2017 01:06 am
iosonochesono: (Bolt: Sleepy)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
Thought #1: If I'm here until at least April, I should be able to get most of the CADC coursework done. And some of the nursing prerequisites.

Thought #2: I really like the one job, it's the other job I can't stand. I used to at least like the people there, but most of them are gone. I can't believe I have to do all this safety coach stuff I can never even do, either. Tomorrow and Monday I'm going to have to run around all over the place trying to collect paperwork. It's all freakin' hand-holding because managers don't see enforcing policy within departments as part of their jobs.

Honestly, they ducked it up. If the safety program had been a body of policies rewarding managers whose departments and staff pass audits and don't have injuries free days (and penalizing those who do) this wouldn't be a problem. Instead, they see a nag telling them to do stuff they have decided isn't part of their job. It's a freakin' joke.

Thought #3: I want to get the nursing prerequisites and CADC stuff done.

CCAPP claims it is valid in 47 countries but it doesn't list them anywhere. Kinda suspicious.

ETA: It's by getting the IC&RC tests done, but then you still have to live in California most of the year, which seems ridiculous. In the U.K. the equivalent program is BACP.

I Did It

Sep. 16th, 2017 11:39 am
iosonochesono: (MLP: Thoughtful)
[personal profile] iosonochesono
That thing, the thing I've wanted to do for years - sign up for a TEFL certificate. I did it.

I'm going to work on it during the night shift and work on paying down any debts I have - maybe even sell my car toward the end of December... Start figuring out the things I do/don't need in my life. Then I'm going to try to apply for TEFL positions. Maybe look into teacher licensing?

Why?

Because Dad came home today, and the place was a horrible mess. My brother was sleeping in a rat nest. In the living room. And my dad was upset and sad and I left because I was worried they'd get into a screeching argument into one another.

And I was thinking about how miserable I am at Ralphs. How Mike talks about 'moving up in the company' and like... I don't really want that. What I want is to travel and not be at home with my brother and my father burdened by my brother.

And I was sitting there, eating fast food (again) and thinking about how unhappy I was, and then I thought, "Will moving make me happy?"

And the answer is that I have stuff I need to work on. I have low sense of self-worth to work on. Codependency issues to work on. A sexual dysfunction to work on (because currently that also makes me unhappy.) Moving won't suddenly make me a happy person. I need physical intimacy and I have a hard time accepting it. I need to establish better boundaries with people so I don't feel taken advantage of. I need a lot of things in my life that I can work on to make me happy.

But at least half my problem is I feel trapped and stuck and I go home and everyone's miserable and everything's a mess. I can't do things I love (like photography, travel, language study) because I'm working like 80+ hours/week.

So I'm going to:

1. Keep going on with trying to get my U.K. and Irish Passports.
2. Get the damn TEFL certification.
3. Fucking leave the country.

Nursing might be a nice ideal that would make me more money, but I can do the teaching certificate much faster and if I want international credentials I should be trying to figure out how to go to nursing school in the U.K. I just want to make sure that if I leave the country I can work.

Regrettably, this also means staying with Ralphs until April so I can pay off any debts. I almost want to turn in my notice today. But I need to stay with both jobs to save money and get to a debt-free point in my life. I want 0 debt and preferably $3k minimum in my savings account.

I just have to stay disciplined about only having water/fruit/veggies/PB&J.
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